Secrets, Secrets
by ecc216
Summary: Secrets, secrets are no fun. Secrets, secrets hurt someone. Juvia's found herself in a bit of a mess as her past comes back to haunt her. And they thought Gray kept too many secrets. [Modern AU]
1. Chapter 1

As Lucy walked down the stairs of the observatory, she caught sight of Gray Fullbuster and another raven-haired man conversing. It took only seconds for her to identify him. Bora.

"This doesn't bode well…" She quickened her pace. Erza insisted she shouldn't walk home alone and frequently sent Natsu or Gray to walk back with her. Most of the time, it got her into more trouble than if she had just been alone. When she was in earshot, she was able to catch Bora's voice over the chatter and bustling of other students.

"You know," He paused before leaning in, "She's deliciously depraved. You're missing out."

"What did you just say to me?" Each word through gritted teeth. A menacing hiss that sent shivers down Lucy's spine. It was rare for her to see Gray so…furious. His fights with Natsu, his frustration with Lyon. None of that could compare to the dark look on Gray's face. She made her way to him, grabbing his hand and trying to force him to take a step back. He didn't budge.

"He's just trying to get a rise out of you. Forget him. C'mon, let's go." Lucy did her best to keep the uncertainty she felt out of her voice, but she wasn't doing very well at it.

"Oh, don't worry, sugar. I'm leaving anyway." Bora grinned as he leisurely walked away leaving Gray trembling with rage behind him.

A moment of silence passed between them as Lucy struggled to find the right thing to say. Gray refused to admit his obvious attraction to Juvia. Anyone could see that as time passed, Gray had fallen for the eccentric, blue-haired beauty.

"Listen, Gray," Lucy said with a small smile, "They dated forever ago. He doesn't know anything about her anymore."

"I don't care. Doesn't change the fact that he's a piece of garbage idiot asshole."

Lucy agreed. Her own experience with Bora left her scarred. Sometimes, in the dead of night, when she couldn't sleep, Lucy would still wonder what would have happened if Natsu had not interfered. Drunk and defenseless at Cana's house party, Bora recognized her as the new girl in town. Assuming she hadn't made any friends in Magnolia, he carried her upstairs while everyone else was distracted. Luckily, Natsu noticed her absence and found her before anything could happen.

"Yeah," she sighed as she tried to tuck her long bangs behind her ears in vain as they began to walk back, "You know, it still surprises me that _he_ was Juvia's first love. How could someone like that get someone like her?"

Gray scoffed. Lucy had no doubt that Bora's words were echoing in his head. She knew that they dated briefly in high school, but never would have guessed that high-strung Juvia would have sex with anyone. Before becoming friends with Gray and the rest of them, Juvia was infamous.

"I can't believe she fucked him." Gray muttered.

Had anyone else been present, Lucy knew that Gray wouldn't have said anything, but the two of them had a good relationship. Lucy never judged him, never forced him to share more than he wanted. He had grown comfortable with her. And Lucy was truly touched that someone so guarded was willing to talk to her.

"She didn't even know you existed back then." Lucy reasoned.

"Her first love…"

"What?"

"You called him Juvia's first love. Do you…Do you think she really loved him?" His voice was hardly louder than a whisper. She watched him recoil in surprise as he heard his own words.

"What?" Lucy couldn't help but laugh. "Gray, she may have thought she loved him, but if you asked her, you know what she'd say. I've never seen anyone more dedicated to another person. At first, we all just thought it was infatuation, but the better she got to know you and all your faults, the more she loved you. I wasn't sold on her until we had this sleepover, and Erza invited her. I overheard them talking about you. It was…It was actually really beautiful, Gray. The way she talked about you and your happiness. How she wished you would forgive yourself and see yourself through her eyes. Forget the past. She loves you."

She could tell she caught Gray off guard. She gave him another moment to process her words before continuing. "You should tell her how you feel."

"You sound like Erza." He grumbled, but she saw a hint of a smile on his face.

"Want to get something to drink?"

"God, yes."

They began to walk away as the fall wind rustled the trees on campus.

"If he says anything like that to me again, I'm gonna kill him."

She wasn't sure what kept him from telling Juvia what everyone else already knew. They'd been inseparable since high school, and while that wasn't exactly Gray's choice, he'd definitely developed some feelings for her by the first year of college.

"Let's get to Fairy Tail. It's getting cold."

XxX

Gray couldn't sleep.

 _Deliciously depraved._

He knew. If Lucy hadn't chosen that exact moment to stop stargazing or whatever she did in there, he would have told that dick off right there. He knew what it was like to have her rolling around in his sheets. But to have to admit to another one of his friends that he'd given in? He'd rather die.

The sound of his door opening brought him to his feet.

"Okay, I'm here. What's the big fucking emergency?" Natsu yawned. Normally, Gray would have rather been alone than call Natsu, of all people, for help, but Natsu was the only one who knew. He was the only one who could help snap him out of this. It was worth the embarrassment. At least, that's what the four shots he had at the bar told him.

"I had sex with Juvia." He had never said those words aloud. It sounded foreign. Almost as if he was reading words off a paper rather than recalling an event that had happened in his life.

"Yeah, I know," Natsu laughed loudly, earning a glare from Gray. "Sorry. It's just…It's still funny."

"Forget it. Get out."

"Is that seriously why you called me here? You're still upset that you had sex with your girlfriend? I have a test tomorrow morning."

"She's not my girlfriend, asshole!"

"Yeah right," Natsu scoffed and rolled his eyes, "She's into you, you're into her. You guys talk every day. You go out to eat. You study together. You flip out every time your cousin gets within a mile radius of her. Remember when we thought we heard gunshots in the quad and you lost your shit until you got in touch with her? Oh, plus that time you banged her?"

"I'm not…We're just friends. That was just a drunken mistake. A one-time thing."

"Whatever." Natsu shrugged and walked into the kitchen area, searching through cabinets.

"When did you get a key to my apartment? I sure as hell didn't give you one." Natsu paled and chuckled awkwardly.

"Well, it's complicated and…Look, it's a long story." Gray opened his mouth, but Natsu quickly regained his composure, "Anyway, Lucy told me you two ran into that shit-eating Bora guy today. She said you got pretty mad."

"Don't change the damn subject," He said before sighing in defeat. Gray knew what Natsu was doing, but for the first time, he really just wanted to talk to someone, so he decided to let it go. For now, at least. "It wasn't that big of deal. He was just picking a fight."

"You should've kicked his ass," Natsu said nonchalantly as he grabbed a box of cereal from Gray's pantry.

"Yeah, well, I didn't want to freak Lucy out." He muttered, suddenly feeling rather defeated. Or maybe his buzz was just wearing off.

"You should just ask her out." Natsu said after several beats. "You guys are good together."

"You think so?" Gray asked earnestly, forgetting for a moment about the charade he and Natsu normally put on.

"She balances you out, y'know? Gets you out of your comfort zone, makes you try new things. You guys have fun together. She cares about you. She's hot. And the sex was good, right?"

"Insanely good." It was true. The sex had been mind-blowing for him.

"So, what's the problem?"

The truth was that Gray didn't fully understand what the problem was either. Maybe, deep down, he knew it had something to do with the death of his parents. Or watching his foster mom waste away in a coma. Maybe, it was simpler than that. Maybe, he was just scared.

"I don't love her as much as she loves me." He said, surprising himself for the second time that day with the words that came out of his mouth. Natsu stopped shoveling cereal into his mouth and stared at Gray. Feeling uncomfortable and rather vulnerable, Gray decided changing subjects was the best move. "Hey, I've been meaning to ask you…What's going on with you and Lucy?"

"Ugh, fuck if I know," Natsu groaned, "Girls, right?"

Gray smiled. He wasn't regretting asking Natsu for help as much as he thought he would.

"Life was a lot easier before everyone started pairing up. Gajeel and Levy getting engaged, Bisca and Al are married with a kid on the way, even Loke is talking about settling down." Natsu said exasperated, before speaking again in a tone Gray didn't recognize, "I mean, I can't imagine marrying anyone else. She's my best friend. We do everything together."

Silence fell between them before Gray finally sighed, "Yeah, I get that."

XxX

It had been three weeks since she spent the night at Gray's, and she was going crazy. Could she survive like this? She was elated at first, but the darker reality set in after a few days. He had been so distressed when he woke. She swore her secrecy, she'd take it to her grave. Only after that was he able to relax. She was sure he must have threatened Natsu with death. Well, if Natsu actually realized what had happened.

She shook her head as if the physical action could make the thoughts disappear. It didn't matter. Juvia was just happy to accept anything he could give her. She knew he was damaged and was willing to wait. This was love. Regardless of whether or not, she lived her life as his dirty secret, as his regret, she would stay faithful to her love. Juvia would spend her life making sure he was happy.

Acting as if nothing happened between them left her exhausted and drained. She tried to convince herself it didn't hurt, but she found herself crying more frequently. But if that's what he wanted, she would give it her all. Better than losing him altogether. And if she lost him, would she lose everyone else too? She would not let herself be deterred.

Her feet led her straight to the swimming pool. Peace came to her in the water. She'd given up swimming competitively years ago, but she never lost her fondness for the sport. She was cunning and quick when she needed to be. That's how she managed to steal and copy the key to the building. It was how she managed to break in without being caught on camera. Growing up on the streets had little advantages, but Juvia had to admit pickpocketing and shoplifting taught her skills she would use long after she found a home.

Switching the security camera behind the lifeguard's chair off, she felt the edges of her mouth threaten to turn up in a smile. Anticipation formed as she prepared to dive into the first lane.

"Juvia. What a surprise to see you here."

Juvia wobbled on the edge before regaining her balance. She turned to face the voice she had recognized instantly.

"Bora. What are you doing here?" Juvia had no interest in seeing him. No interest in talking to him. More than anything, she felt angry for being disturbed.

"You always did love swimming in the moonlight. I remember how we used to go to that one beach in Oak Town in the dead of night. We'd leave before morning. It was so cold, our hands all prune-y." He chuckled.

"What are you doing here?" She repeated in a slightly more aggressive tone.

"My, my, Juvia. Is it so impossible that maybe I also grew fond of swimming?"

She narrowed her eyes at him, but was all too aware of the fact that if she was caught, her scholarship would be revoked. She went to the bleachers and grabbed her towel and gear. "Fine."

"What are you doing?"

"Leaving." She huffed. She had been looking forward to this release all day.

"I think the pool is big enough for both of us." He was trying to be charming. She might have fallen for it again if she hadn't met Gray. She didn't look back as she walked away.

Before she was out of earshot, she heard him say, "I talked to your little boyfriend today. How is all that going anyway?"

Juvia was intrigued. She stopped and turned to face him. "What did you say to Gray-sama?"

"Nothing of consequence. Don't worry, darling, I wouldn't dare ruin your chances with him."

"What do you want?" Juvia knew Bora well. This was about more than catching up or swimming or even their past.

"I need your help with something. Your name was big for a while back when you worked with Porla. The Rain Woman. Guess I wasn't the only one who thought you were gloomy."

Juvia hoped her face accurately reflected her disgust and hatred for him. They hadn't talked since he unceremoniously dumped her. The fact that he had kept tabs on her after made her feel uncomfortable. She didn't want to remember anything before she and Gajeel found their new family.

"Not a chance in hell."

"I wouldn't make a decision quite yet. After all, there's something in it for you." His grin grew bigger and bigger. Juvia couldn't help feeling like she was being taunted. "I know where your parents are. And I'll tell you, if you help me find a couple old friends."

xXx

Natsu woke up to a blaring alarm. He silently cursed Gray's name as he dressed himself ad rushed to make it to his exam. Gray dumping his purse out was about to get him a zero on his midterms. Though he wouldn't admit, Natsu was actually quite pleased to be Gray's confidant for the first time. Walking in to find a disheveled Juvia leaving in last night's clothes was a blessing in disguise. He wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but he could put one and one together.

As he jogged to campus, he caught something rather curious. Juvia lived in an apartment complex with Erza, Levy, and Wendy nearby to the little house he was renting. She stood outside as Bora walked up to her with a smile.

"That guy again." After his run in with Bora a couple years ago, he hadn't heard the guy's name. But in the last week, it seemed like he popping up everywhere. He watched as Bora opened his car door for Juvia. They drove off, leaving Natsu slightly confused. He was all for second chances. He was well-known for making friends with his enemies, but he had a bad feeling in his gut.

After his exam, he called Lucy to ask her if she had left something out of her story of seeing him the night before. As he recounted what he saw, he could almost hear her furrowing her brows. He felt uncomfortable talking to Lucy about Bora. After what happened, he wondered if the memory still bothered her.

"No," Lucy's voice was a little hard to hear over the background noise, and he assumed she was in the observatory with Loke and the other astronomy nerds. "But that doesn't sound right to me at all. Juvia wouldn't do that. You know how she is. It's strange. Last night, he was antagonizing Gray. Today, he and Juvia are driving off together."

"Did he say anything about her yesterday?"

"I don't think so. I only caught the end of whatever that was, and if he had, Gray would have said something about it."

"Hm," Natsu paused, "It's probably nothing."

"Yeah, I'm sure it's nothing." But he knew she didn't believe that for a second.

He heard Lucy sigh, "Should we say something to Gray about it?"

"I'm sure she's already told that idiot what's going on. And if it's serious, I bet Gray's already handled it."

They said their goodbyes, and Natsu made his way to his least favorite place: the library. As he attempted to study, his mind continued to wander back to Juvia getting into Bora's car. He had caught a glimpse of her face. It was quite a bit of distance away, but he couldn't mistake the expression on her face.

Fear.


	2. Chapter 2

Wow, everybody has been so cool about this story! While trying to write a fanfiction that I've been working on forever, I just hit a wall. I forced myself to write, and this is the story that came out. I didn't even look it over before I posted it. I honestly did not think anyone would be interested. I'm so glad people liked it! Thank you for the reviews! They are what made me decide to do another chapter.

I tried to be better about looking this over for errors. I'm doubtful it is much better, but I hope so. I hope this chapter is as well-received as the first! Thank you again to every single person who reviewed, favorited and followed.

xXx

They always ended up at Fairy Tail. After all, Makarov owned the place. But more than that, it felt like home. Makarov Dreyer had taken them all in. While some argued that a bar was hardly a place to raise wayward children, none of Makarov's kids could bear parting with him. He was a short old man with a goofy smile and an even goofier fashion sense. Everyone felt attached to him almost instantaneously. When Lucy met the man who raised and cared for her friends, she understood their dedication to him immediately. Save a couple of suggestive remarks he had made to her, he had a heart of gold and accepted her into his family without question.

What she loved most about the time she spent at Fairy Tail was conversing with Mira. The first day she was taken to the bar, she was shocked to see Mirajane Strauss tending bar. Mira had made a pretty big name for herself, and her fanbase began to grow far past just Magnolia. She appeared in magazines, walked in famous Fiore fashion shows. She played guitar and sang with the voice of an angel. As far as Lucy was concerned, Mira was perfect.

But when Mira and her two younger siblings became orphans, Makarov took them in. Listening to her story, Lucy couldn't help but wish she had met him all earlier.

The hard times Mira experienced had imprinted upon her the belief that family was all that mattered. She cared very little about modeling or performing. Time with her siblings and friends took precedence over red carpet events. So, she often hid out at the worn down old bar that her foster father owned. The story of how someone like Mira ended up doing dishes in a messy, old kitchen was one that she would have loved to share with her mom. Lucy could see her mother gasp, could hear her laugh.

And for Lucy, she went from an idol to a very dear friend. Mira welcomed her into the Fairy Tail family immediately, and their friendship was instant. Whenever, Lucy found herself troubled, she'd go to Mira, who always offered support and advice.

As she walked through the double doors, she waved to the regulars. Macao and Wakaba laughing raucously, Nab and Max arguing about something, and of course, Cana. Cana supposedly took classes at Magnolia University, but Lucy had never been in the bar when Cana wasn't sitting on a stool with a drink.

"Lucy!" Mira chirped in a way that made Lucy feel warm and safe. "I haven't seen you in a while!"

"Yeah, midterms are kicking my butt. I've been studying almost nonstop." Lucy sighed. "I barely sleep anymore."

"Well, a drink on the house will help!" Mira wouldn't take no for an answer. She never did. Lucy nodded meekly, positive that a drink would not wake her up or help her study for her exams.

"So," Mira began as she handed Lucy her a glass of something pink, delicious, and most likely very strong, "What's going on with Juvia and Bora? Where'd they go?"

Lucy nearly spit out her drink, before forcing herself to swallow. Through a couple coughs, she managed to ask, "How do you know about that? That just happened _this_ morning."

Mira stared at her expectantly.

"Right. Stupid question. Natsu just saw them going somewhere together. It was weird." Lucy felt weird about the two of them hanging out. She was certain she was missing a fairly important piece of the puzzle. "I don't know. Maybe it's none of our business, but I'm a little concerned."

"It's absolutely our business!" Mira believed all business was her business. "She's our friend! And he's a jerk. How did Gray react?"

"No idea. I haven't seen him today." Lucy was quiet for a moment, "I hope we aren't making a big deal out of nothing. Juvia already hates me. It's not like I need to give her any more reasons not to like me." She meant to say it in a joking manner, but as the words came out, they sounded sad even to her.

"She doesn't hate you. She just...hasn't quite figured out female friendship yet. I don't think she's ever really had a friend besides Gajeel before. And you know how he is." Mira said sympathetically. "Give it a little more time."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Lucy tilted her head down and sighed as Mira refilled her empty glass, "Anyways, I think Gray will be able to fill in the blanks. Come to think of it, I haven't seen either of them all day. I was meaning to ask him about it."

"Well, we should at least make sure Bora didn't try anything when she was with him. I'll give her a call." Mira whipped out her phone as Lucy began to protest.

"I don't think she'll appreciate being called so late. She's got exams too, Mira."

Mira ignored Lucy as she listened intently to her phone over the bar chatter. Then, she frowned, "It went straight to voicemail."

It was unusual. But not damning evidence their friend was in trouble. Nevertheless, Lucy began to feel worried. "I'll call Gray. Just to check."

Mira nodded, and Lucy could see her uncertainty in the form of a crinkle between her perfectly plucked eyebrows. The phone rang several times before Gray picked up.

"Hey, Lucy. If you're wondering where Natsu is, he's here at Gajeel's. Puking on everything Gajeel cares about." She heard Natsu's faint voice yelling in response.

"Seriously?" Lucy groaned before carefully continuing, "No, I, well, I was wondering if you heard from Juvia today?"

"I can't hear a damn thing over that music, Lucy. You at Fairy Tail?" Gray shouted far too loudly into the phone.

"I can hear you, asshole. You can't hear me. You don't need to scream." Lucy mumbled under her breath as she made her way downstairs. Speaking more loudly and slowly, "Is that better? I moved to the stockroom."

"Yeah, way better. What's up?"

"Have you heard from Juvia today?"

There was a short pause.

"Actually, no. Why?" He sounded suspicious.

"What? You and Natsu didn't talk about this?"

"Talk about what?"

"He saw her and Bora this morning heading off somewhere together. It seemed pretty sketchy. We…figured you knew..." Her voice trailed, suddenly filled with guilt. What if something was wrong, and they just assumed everything was fine? What if Juvia didn't leave with him willingly?

"No, he didn't. I'll call her now."

"We just tried. Her phone's off or its dead."

"What?"

"I don't feel good about this, Gray. Where did they go? She really didn't mention anything to you?"

The silence on the other end confirmed it.

"Lucy, I have to go. I'll figure it out." Gray's tone was harsh, but Lucy didn't take it personally. She hung up and sat alone for several minutes. Where would Juvia go with Bora? And why?

XxX

After interrogating Natsu and Gajeel for the better part of an hour, Gray concluded that they had no leads on the whereabouts of Juvia. The best move would be going directly to her. It was late. Erza would throw a fit. But Gray needed answers.

Unless, he thought, maybe she was spending the night at Bora's. He shoved the notion down into the place where he hid all unpleasant thoughts from his brain.

As he pulled into the parking lot of their small building, Gray saw a couple lights on and prayed it was Levy and Wendy he'd be dealing with if he got caught. Several other girls lived there. But Erza was by far the scariest. He snuck in through a back window. A maneuver he learned once when Gajeel recruited him and Natsu to help him break into Levy's room to steal what Gray assumed was either a sex tape or some sort of physical proof that Gajeel had human emotions.

He stealthily made his way to Juvia's door and was careful to not to knock too loudly on the door. Minutes passed. No answer. Feeling some urgency, he knocked louder. As time went by, the thought of her with Bora forced itself back to the front of his mind. Frustrated, he made the mistake of pounding on the door. Erza's head poked out of one of the doors, and he knew he was doomed.

"Gray." Erza spoke agonizingly slowly. "Can I possibly help you?"

He gulped. Strong as he was, Erza could still kick his ass and he knew it.

"I'm looking for Juvia. No one's seen her. I swear it's not weird!" The words tumbled out his mouth.

"I saw her this morning. She said she was headed to Hargeon for a couple days. But she didn't have any luggage. Apparently, it was a family emergency." Erza was pensive as she recalled Juvia's departure, speaking almost to herself rather than to Gray. Almost sure that he had escaped the possibility of a beating from Erza, he relaxed a little and thought about what she had told him.

A family emergency. Wasn't she an orphan? Or was she adopted? Or maybe when her parents died, she went to live with an uncle? With a sickening feeling developing in his stomach, he realized for the first time that Juvia knew everything about his life. And he knew relatively nothing about hers.

"She, uh, she headed there with Bora apparently." Gray managed to say though his throat began to feel slightly constricted. Nothing was making much sense, except the feeling that maybe he hadn't been a very good friend to her. And maybe Bora had. Why else would she take him to help her through an emergency? But when did they start talking? Or was this something else? Something more sinister? He knew guys like Bora bored Juvia. There had to be more to this.

But then again, he wouldn't have even known that they had a history together if Mira hadn't extracted the information from a very drunk and emotional Juvia the past summer. What did he know? Nothing, it seemed.

"Gray, what's going on?"

"How the fuck would I know? I'm not her keeper." He felt frustrated. Why did everyone expect him to know where Juvia was and what she was doing? But more upsetting to him was the fact that he didn't know where Juvia was and what she was doing.

"I'm going to let you off with a warning because I know you're worried about Juvia. But don't ever speak to me like that or I will have your ass." Gray gulped, as she continued in a much less threatening tone, "Anyway, I find that to be odd as well. I think the most prudent thing to do would be to ask her ourselves."

"Her phone's dead. Or off."

"Hm. Well, we can ask her when she gets back to explain. For now, let's trust that she knows what she's doing. It's not like Juvia can't take care of herself."

It was not what Gray wanted to hear. However, he had to admit that Erza had a point. Juvia was physically much stronger than her slim frame suggested. She was smart enough to detect and avoid danger.

"Yeah, you're probably right." He relented, "Just a couple of days, right?"

xXx

Juvia had been experiencing a sinking sensation since the moment she agreed to help Bora. As a fifteen-year-old longing for love and acceptance, she opened up to him completely. Grateful to finally have someone willing to listen, she poured out her heart. He knew her desperation to know the people who had given her away. He knew it would drive her to do anything. Even team up with a man she despised and risk the trust of the man she loved. But it all started there. Her overwhelming emptiness. Her obsession with love. Her criminal activity. She needed to see the faces of the people who had subjected her to it all.

Music played in the background as Juvia stared listlessly out the window. Bora drove fast, far too fast. As a girl, it made her feel alive. Now, it made her more sympathetic to Natsu's motion sickness. She turned to him with a look she hoped was scathing and spat, "Will you slow the fuck down? Are you trying to get pulled over?"

"I like this new side of you. Phantom must have toughened you up." He was wrong. He toughened her up. Or his absence did. After a couple weeks of an all-consuming sadness, something inside her cracked. Insecurity and loneliness were replaced by anger and a certain nothingness that she still couldn't explain. That was when her face changed. Soft, feminine features turned stony. Gajeel told her it was her eyes that convinced him she was a force to be reckoned with. When she asked why, he replied that he saw the same emptiness in his own eyes. She had nothing to lose, no one to impress.

"Speaking of your days in Phantom," Bora continued with a tone of superiority, "Don't you think it'd be smarter to start in Oak Town?"

"Boze and Sue left when Jose was arrested. Everybody did. The ports in Hargeon make it easy to get set up as a smuggler. That's where they went." She sounded more certain than she was. It had been a couple years. It was possible they had moved. "But, I still don't get your connection to them. Where did you even meet them? What are you up to?"

"For the last time, don't concern yourself with the little details, sweetheart. Do your part, and I'll do mine." His eyes never left the road, his smile never faltered.

She huffed and turned back to the window unsure if she should press it more. For the time being, she decided she'd rather not know. Trees whipped by as the sunlight made her uncomfortably warm.

She couldn't stop questioning herself. Why was she going to revisit a life she worked so hard to escape? To meet the people who abandoned her? What if this was all a game? Bora probably had no idea where her parents were. But the possibility…She had to know for sure. They sat in silence for several more minutes before Bora opened his mouth again.

"That Fullbuster is something, huh?" She narrowed her eyes as he continued, "When I talked to him the other day, he reminded me so much of myself back when we were together. You sure have a type, Juvia."

"He is _nothing_ like you." The very notion made her equal parts furious and nauseous. "Never compare yourself to him."

"The tall, dark, emotionally unavailable guy in the corner brooding about his mysterious past?" He chuckled, "Though, even at your age, I kept my cool quite a bit better than he seems to be able to."

Juvia stayed silent. It was almost physically painful for her not to take the bait, but she could always take him on after she found her parents. Her nails dug painfully into her palms, as she bit her lip. He turned to look at her, obviously amused by how upset she had become.

"You really have grown, haven't you?" His surprise at her ability to control herself gave her a quick jolt of pride.

But as she considered it, all her anger dissipated, leaving her feeling like a deflated balloon. No, she hadn't grown. Sitting in her ex-boyfriend's car, she was painfully aware of how little she had grown. She was still unable to find a balance between giving in completely to her emotions and letting herself be free of them altogether, comfortably heartless. What was she doing? She may have reverted back to the part of herself that was controlled by her feelings, but it was still different. With Gray, with her friends, she was accepted even with her quirks. Why leave them for this?

Though her doubt grew stronger with every passing minute, she still couldn't force herself to demand that Bora stop the car and let her out. All she had to do was call Gray, and she know he'd be there as soon as possible, grumbling as he opened his car door for her. And yet, she stayed. She just had to know.

What if the closure would give her the ability to be the kind of person Gray wouldn't want to hide? She could be better without this burden of never knowing why she was so unloved. She had to see it through.

"Okay, looks like we're here. You ready?"

No.

"Yes."

xXx

Natsu sat in Lucy's apartment, praying death would come. Gajeel had dragged him there as soon as he woke up, unwilling to tolerate Natsu a moment longer.

"It's your own fault," Lucy scolded, "You have no idea how upset Gray sounded. You should have told him right away."

"Psh, by the time Fullbuster got there, he was already trashed." Gajeel grunted. "By the way, you're cleaning my rug before Levy comes over for dinner tonight, dick."

Natsu moaned and flopped to the floor. There was no way in hell he would be able to move out of this room. His head was pounding. "I'm sorry! I was just excited to be done with all my tests!"

He tried to swallow his guilt. If something happened to her, it would be his fault for sure. He knew he should have done something other than just watch her leave with some sleazy asshole who didn't know the meaning of the word "no."

"She's fine. You guys have no idea what Juvia is capable of. She could kick all your asses." Gajeel barked, "Both of you, relax. No offense Blondie, but _I_ helped train her. _She_ won't fall for any of his shit."

Lucy looked pissed, and Natsu could tell she was about to go off. After what had happened with Bora, Lucy took self-defense classes, spent late nights practicing boxing at the gym. She hardly slept and became paranoid. She wasn't weak to begin with, but she became obsessed with becoming stronger. Gajeel wasn't around in those days. He was as rough around the edges as Juvia when it came to social cues, but Natsu wouldn't let that be an excuse more than once.

"Don't talk about what you don't know." His voice was stern, letting out a single warning shot and making it clear he would not let another comment like that go again. Gajeel seemed to understand immediately. His normally harsh and intimidating facial expression softened as it turned a light shade of red.

"Sorry, Lucy. Maybe, I..uh…I guess I'm just…a little worried. She's turned soft since she met Fullbuster. If something happened to her…" Natsu and Lucy looked at each other aghast. Gajeel rarely sounded so vulnerable. And rarer still, he addressed her by her name instead of one of the nicknames he had somewhat rudely given her. She once revealed to Natsu with a laugh that she honestly didn't think Gajeel knew her name.

"No." Natsu said firmly after a moment. "Love makes you stronger. Juvia's definitely changed since she met Gray, but the change was good."

As Gajeel grunted and processed his words, Natsu noticed Lucy smiling at him in a way that made his heart beat a little faster. Their friendship was a huge part of his foundation, and above all things, he desired to make her proud. To make her smile like that.

"Heh, you know what? You might actually be right about that, Salamander."

"Actually? I'm right all the time!" He looked towards Lucy for backup. She titled her head and squinted her face while she thought about. "Seriously?!"

She laughed, "You definitely have your moments, Natsu."

He was unimpressed with her answer and was going to tell her so, but his stomach forced him to the toilet. While throwing up the little remaining amount of fluid in his body, he heard Lucy come in. Gajeel was enormous. His giant feet made an entirely impossible to ignore sound on the hardwood floor. Even in the bathroom, Natsu could hear him thundering around in another room. Lucy moved about much more gracefully.

He felt her hand on his back. Natsu hated being sick, but he did like the way Lucy rubbed his back as he huddled over a toilet or held a bag to his face just in case during car rides or flu season. It was a very innocent and pure action, the human contact that he craved without all the questions of whether it was appropriate or would lead to something else.

It felt frustrating watching their relationship change as they grew. In the recent months, he had begun to question their friendship, the little touches, the favors, and the fond gestures. Was there more? Should there be more? Why couldn't things just stay the same for a little longer?

"I'm going to get you some water, 'kay?" He nodded weakly. "And, Natsu?"

He looked up, and the sight of her face eased the uncertainty in his heart immediately. Did it have to be romantic to like someone's face? Because he liked her face.

"I feel better about this whole thing. You were right. The change in Juvia? It was good. Love does make us stronger." And with that, she turned on her heels and left.


End file.
